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Thread: Pain of NRIs

  1. #1
    Wizard MythiliK's Avatar

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    Feb 2009

    Default Pain of NRIs

    I'm writing the general opinions of most of the NRIs, as I used to get the details from the discussions happen during our friends meet here. Few of them are here.

    1. We might have lived in Individual houses with garden and compound walls in India. But now we live in apartments with single bedroom, congested and small ones. But people back in India (not the one who really knows us) always imagine as if we are living in houses as the ones seen in TV programs (could be Britney Spears house).

    2. When you return to India, no matter how close or not, every one who knows you expects a gift from you (atleast a foreign chocolate, if not a perfume). They never mind about the maximum weight (20kg) allowed in airlines. You should some how carried the gift. (But I guess now this mentality is reducing as atleast one person from every home are now NRIs).

    3. Once when you landed in a foreign country, you can never say a word about India or anything bad happening there. You are not patriotic. You might have did the same sitting there, but not now. (of course lots of NRIs do show off as if they were born and bought outside India and never knew the pathetic conditions before).

    4. The moment you took the flight outside India for a job, you will be considered as "Bill Gates". I mean, one of the richest in the world. Relations will ask for debt and if you are not able to give, then the rest of the happenings (like scolding behind you, spreading rumors about you to others) are left for readers imaginations. They never knew, we spend most of our salary in house rent alone. I guess, since we convert and tell the rent in Indian money, they imagine the house we live would be like Britney Spears house.

    5. Each and every friend and relatives expects YOU to call them and never think that telephone is not FREE for NRIs. That too, they all expect your call on some special days like "New Year" and never accept that we cannot make 100+ calls in a single day. The head ache increases if we called one friend and left another one, where as this two shares the matter in our absence. Thanks to PC - PC calling now. It reduced the burden a bit now.

    Hope more will get add from other NRIs

  2. #2

    Post NRIs genuine expression

    Your very genuine points really glued my eyeballs to read it all to the end point, the fifth. I believe your 'article' the first of its kind on internet and it also got values representing all NRIs in here and out there. You have established your points in here with great affects and effects from the seen and expectations, Mythilik.

    I hope all the judges out there will nominate your thread be in their list for February Winning Contest because your points have successfully represented most of the NRIs who are still living in foreign country or anybody/anyone who has had experienced this kinda. Your thread is the first one explaining this type of painful for being NRIs in Digital Bhoomi forum.

    Where are other NRIs opinions in this case? Add your points more or put an extension to the respective point done by Mythilik. Express your feeling, idea, opinion, suggestion, or etc. in making this discussion grow so that local readers (family members) will understand your true experience living in foreign country that caused pressures on you from their over-expectations.

    My thumbs up for you, Mythilik.
    Last edited by michaeldadona; 05-02-10 at 03:09 PM. Reason: anybode to anybody at the first sentence in the second paragraph
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  3. #3

    Default Nurture good relationship...

    Meetu, A great thread from you on NRI's emotions and plight...Mike's follow up answer also is also good and I second his opinion that this thread is sure to be rated with a 5 stars and a prospective winning one too...

    Meetu, as you say, most of the local people do have the views about NRIs as you have written. Indeed, they do not know the monetary burden they have because of their loans (educational or Housing), or their emotional stress due to their leaving behind their loved ones, or the physical strain due to pressure in their jobs to give their best as well as at the home front having to do all their household work(as it may be costly to hire maids like in India).

    We need to understand them well before expecting them to shower all their attention on us. Sometimes the family here will consist of a number of relatives extending to cousins, nieces and nephews. It is really not to be expected of the NRIs to bring gifts and chocolates for all. The priority should be with the immediate close ones (parents, grandparents and siblings).

    Another thing when an NRI visits India, we all expect him or her to visit each one of us and accuse him or her if he or she does not. we should understand that with limited time on hands for their shopping as well as their other priorities like to attending to things in their own homes here, it will be impossible for them to visit every relative in person.

    I do hope your thread will awaken us local people here and understand your predicament in a better manner and nurture a good relationship with our NRI relatives and friends.

  4. #4
    Wizard MythiliK's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2009


    Thank you so much Mike and Chellamaa.... Actually before writing those points, I really had a doubt whether readers from India will take it right or again blame that as I just did a show off as an NRI

    Chellamaa, you truly understood the problem and added more value with your excellent points.

    More than physical tiredness (true, in home we have maids to take care of house hold chores and sometimes, they will even take care of my son, giving me my own time to do something), the mental depression is more here. We are not able to be at home, celebrating festivals and attending all functions and get togethers.

    The burden is more to NRI ladies, who are turned into home maker, resigning their job, just because to join their husbands in the foreign nation. For me, atleast my son is there to keep me busy. But those who are yet to have kid, are left with no much time pass except to browse and watch TV, unless they are self motivated to do something on their own like learning new things, etc...

  5. #5
    New Member Priyamvada's Avatar
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    Feb 2013
    Princeton Jct

    Default some different thoughts from people in the US

    I seem to be continuing an old thread, but I am a new member. I came to the US 28 years ago, at a time when PCs were not even thought of. Phone calls to India cost 4 dollars a minute. Airmail service was temperamental at best, so months would pass before I would hear from anyone back home. Seems like the dark, primitive age, doesn’t it? However, I am glad I came when I did. It taught me fortitude, self-sufficiency and tolerance. Granted it took me a while to understand this so very different culture, granted also that racial discrimination does exist in subtle and obvious forms, I learned the value of individual freedom and expression, a core concept of Americanism. We need to find something meaningful in our experiences for us to grow. Otherwise we are all frogs in a well, with closed minds. We cannot have it all, and we are not entitled to all. We have to cut the apron strings, and make something of ourselves. Change is good. It opens our eyes to diversity, broadens our horizons and above all we make ourselves powerful enough to change others. It’s also time we did not let national borders fetter us and thought of others that are not so fortunate.

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